A COUNSELLING PROBLEM IN THE CHURCH

Elder Spencer W. Kimball

Address to Seminary and Institute of Religion Faculty

Based upon a similar discourse to a group of L. D. S. Psychiatrists

Brigham Young University

Provo, Utah

July 10, 1964

My beloved brethren who teach the youth of Zion:

What a glorious responsibility and opportunity you have to work with youth for their clay is still moldable and you can make permanent impressions upon them. Brethren, I pay tribute to you. I express my affection for you and confidence in you. Iam grateful to the Lord that we have men of your capability and devotion to stand before our young people and give them example and teach them the way of life.

. . .

Through the years, we have heard that homosexuality was an incurable disease but now many authorities agree that one is recoverable from its clutches, I quote from the Medical World News, June 5, 1964:

"... The effectiveness of therapy depends on the depth of entrenchment of the perversion, as well as the strength of the patient's desire to modify it."

This is the statement of the public health committee of the New York Academy of Medicine.

The same report says these deviates "are at least more open and obtrusive" than they were in the past. It states that these people are formally organized with a central office and a magazine of their own and that 'They are determined to be accepted not as lawbreakers, sinners, or even as sick people, but as a different kind of people leading an accep-table kind of life." The committee quotes these deviates as claiming theirs is a noble, preferable way of life, and the perfect answer to the problem of population explosion.'

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We are told that as far back as Henry the VIII, this vice was referred to as "THE ABOMINABLE AND DETESTABLE CRIME AGAINST NATURE," and some of our own statutes have followed that wording. Some authorities feel that it is nearly as prevalent among women as among men, though the latter is more in the open.

We know such a disease is curable. Men have come dejected, discouraged, embarrassed, near terrified and have gone out later full of confidence and faith in themselves, with self respect again, the confidence of their families, their home ties strengthened, and ready to manfully take their part in society and even in the Church on an approved cured basis.

In some cases, they have been men with families and we have had wives come in to thank us tearfully for bringing their husbands back to them. Wives have not always known what had been wrong but they had sensed it and realized they had lost their husbands. We have seen men come first with downward glances and leave months later looking us straight in the eye, We have had them admit after the first interview, "I'm glad I was arrested I have tried and tried to correct my error but knew I'd have to have help and had not the courage to ask for it. "

In a few months, some have totally mastered themselves, while others linger on with less power and requiring more time to make the total comeback. We realize that the cure is no more permanent than the indivi-dual makes it so and is like the cure for alcoholism subject to continued vigilance, To such men we say, ''Physician heal thyself," and promise him if he will stay away from the haunts and the temptations, and the former associates, he may heal himself, cleanse his mind and return to his normal pursuits and a happy state of mind.

The cure for this malady lies in self mastery which is the funda-mental basis of the whole gospel program. May we quote again from the work of James Allen:

"A man's mind may be likened to a garden which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein and will continue to produce their kind."

and again:

"The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors, that which it loves, and also that which it fears, It reaches the height of its cherished aspiration; it falls to the level of its unchastened desires, and circumstances are the means by which the soul receives its own."

and again:

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"A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of grovelling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of any near external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power, Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself. No such conditions can exist as descending into vice and its attendant sufferings apart from vicious inclinations, or ascending into virtue and its pure happiness without the continued cultivation of virtuous aspirations; and man, therefore, as the Lord and master of thought, is the maker of himself, the shaper and author of environment, Even at birth, the soul comes to its own and through every step of its earthly pilgrimage it attracts these combinations of conditions which reveal itself which are the reflections of its own purity and impurity, its strength and weakness."

"Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are."

". . . Their innermost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food, be it foul or clean."

“Man is manacled only by himself; thought and action are the jailers of fate--they imprison, being base; they are also the angels of freedom--they liberate, being noble. Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he justly earns."

The experience of our associate has been most rewarding in what we feel are recoveries.

One man has committed every perversion the imagination could suggest and over a long period, and only last Saturday, turned the corner, Always going to try and ‘do the best he could', he made no headway. After some hours of encouragement, he is on his way.

Frequently, in their confessions, these men relieved from some tension and happy in their prospects of a new life, are eager that their former temptors and associates be also helped. They have encouraged them to seek our help. The approach is kindly and not accusing. The person is permitted to tell his own story in his own way and then he is helped in a confidential way to transform himself.

Recently, a public official wrote to thank us for the work our associate had done in helping a good but misguided man to completely transform. Of all the numerous people who have come through this special program, only two have been excommunicated. These were men who were belligerent and rebellious and unyielding, and practically asked for and demanded such action.

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The method used by our bishop is the one we think was used by the Savior. He reminds them they are sons of God and:

“CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD."

As the Lord said:

“And I, God, created man in mine own image, in the image of mine ONLY BEGOTTEN have I created him; male and female created them." Moses 2:27

And:

“The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the garden of Eden, GAVE I UNTO MAN HIS AGENCY." Moses 7:32

When Jesus, with his retinue of followers, made his final trip to Jerusalem and the people of a village in Samaria would not permit him to spend the night in their town, James and John had said:

“Lord wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them... ?"

And the Redeemer's reply was soft and mild and full of kindness:

"Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of. For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them. And they went to another village."

This soft approach of helpfulness, not condemnation; of under-standing, not accusations of sympathy and not threats has brought many men to their knees in surrender and in gratitude and back to normalcy.

Now, he has new hope. If he is in the image of God, he reaches upward for he must now be like God whose son he is. He has new hand-holds. He is no longer low and degenerate, He must climb up.

The continued contact seems to be helpful. To have the man return to report success in his efforts or even partial failure is helpful and to these continuing visits credit may be given for recoveries. Many find that since they will be making reports, and additional strength comes from that realization and they control themselves and their thoughts a day at a time, a week at a time, and soon the months have passed and thoughts are controlled and actions are above reproach.

Our bishop dwells largely upon the glories of the Gospel and all its blessings, the happiness of proper family life, the joy in individual clean-liness. It works! And, numerous have been blessed.

A letter from a young man is revealing. His deviation had come when he was only a ten year old boy and was the result largely of curiosity. But he could not wholly eradicate the memory of it. He wrote:

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“As I grew older I was too ashamed to tell anyone until I approached the missionary age. I knew it was not so serious as a childish act but nevertheless it was a burden through all the years and I had a guilty conscience. When I was interviewed for my mission, I had the blessed peace I should have had through all the years for my kindly bishop cleared the slate and commended me for the many years of cleanliness. How grateful I was for the privilege of placing my burden on the bishop's shoulders, I felt well and clean,"

Another young man who had waded in deep waters wrote:

". . .I am still adjusting and laboring to the new mental attitudes which have been formed during the past year...I have been quite happy and content, There are still struggles but through it all, I can look back and see slow but sure improvement. I can see more and more clearly the necessity of making the changes which I am now attempting. I know it is possible if the Lord will help me, and He will if I do my part...l appreciate your help and interest. I can never fully express my gratitude for the help the Church has given me, At last, l am free from the fetters of such a damning slavery. Thanks sincerely."

The Lord will not, cannot, permit his Church to tolerate wicked-ness, His scriptures are replete with the denouncement of evil. From Genesis to Revelations, He calls men to repentance. He hates the sin but loves the sinner, and desires that he be salvaged.

Disfellowshipment or excommunication is the penalty for heavy petting, adultery, fornication, perversion and comparable sins, if there is no repentance. There can be no other way. But everyone who suffers this humiliation and deprivation must blame it on himself for every opportunity is given him to change and mold his life in an acceptable manner, Bishops suffer, and high councils weep when this action is necessary and it is used only when all else fails.

GOD MADE ME THAT WAY, some aay as they rationalize and excuse themselves for their perversions. "I can't help it," they add.

This is blasphemy. Is he not made in the image of God, and does he think God to be "that way?" Man is responsible for his own sins. It is possible that he may rationalize and excuse himself till the groove is so deep he cannot get out without great difficulty. But this he can do. Temptations come to all people. The difference between the reprobate and the worthy person is generally that one yielded and the other resisted.

It is true that one's background may make the decision and accom-plishment easier or more difficult but if one is mentally alert, he can still control his future, That is the gospel message-- personal responsibility.

Shame on the person blaming his perversions on his parents, "man is punishable for his own sins." He can, if normal, rise above the frustrations of childhood and stand on his own feet and answer roll call.

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And if the yielding person continues to give way numerous times, he may finally reach the point of no return where he does not want to re-turn, And the Lord says:

... "My spirit will not always strive with man"...

saith the Lord of Hosts.

The doctors whose report is quoted above state without equivocation:

"The homosexual is not a special order of creation."

To those weaklings who continue to justify themselves by saying, “God made me this way," James answers:

"Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man.

"But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

“Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin, and sin when it is finished bringeth forth death.” Do not err, my beloved brethren." James 1:13-16

One young man I called in persistently continued to lie. He kept insisting that I tell him who had reported on him, I answered that was not the important thing but his placing himself in the way of spiritual medication was the vital point, As I left him, I said kindly: "You do not wish to tell me tonight. You will before long, and you will find my door open and my heart warm toward you." Time passed and | began to wonder if I had wrongly predicted, but after a few months, the phone rang one day and he was asking for an appointment, He unburdened his soul voluntarily and began his comeback.

Homosexuality is a sin of the ages, Sodom and Gomorrah were victims of its wretchedness. It was prevalent in decaying Rome. It was present in Israel's wandering days after and before. It was tolerated by the Greeks.

In Exodus, the law required death for the culprit who had sex play with animals, the deviate who committed incest or had homosexual and other vicious practices.

It was a source of much concern to Paul among the Saints. To the Romans, he said:

“Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature;

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"And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

“Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

"Who knowing the judgment of God, that they might commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have the pleasure in them that do them." Romans 1:24, 26, 27, 31, 32

“Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteous-ness?" Romans 6:16

To the Galatians, he gave a long list of these serious sins and concluded:

"...they which do such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God." Galatians 5:19-21

He warned the Colossians against inordinate affection.

He condemned the Ephesians:

“Who being past feeling have given themselves over into lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness, " Ephesians 4:19

To Timothy came the warning of common sins:

“Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good." 2 Timothy 3:3

The gospel of Christ is one of perfection. When talking to his multitudes, He constantly said: 'Ye have heard it said of old time", then followed with "BUT I SAY UNTO YOU". He marked the contrasts. To love a friend and hate an enemy was the standard of the law of Israel but the gospel teaches even to love one's enemies. To kill was a sin before, but now unjustified anger becomes sin.

In olden days, to commit adultery was forbidden, but the gospel raises the standard and makes it sinful to think evil and lust mentally.

Listen to the Lord:

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery, but I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart," Matthew 5:27-28

The Lord requires: "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."

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He says:

"Behold, I am the light; I have set an example for you." 3 Nephi 18:16

Our assistant approaches in his treatment of these difficult cases, the spirit of the Lord's appeal:

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for 1am meek and lowly in heart, and YE SHALL FIND REST UNTO YOUR SOULS, For, my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29

In a nutshell, our program is about like this:

THE MALADY: Mental and Physical sin

THE CURE: Self-mastery

THE VEHICLE: THE CHURCH

TIE MEDICATION: THE GOSPEL

THE TREATMENT: Constructive activity so full of good works there is no time nor thought for evil.

It is impressive to see how many times John the Revelator used the word "Overcome." This is the theme of the song of the Church as expressed by the Lord:

"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

"To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne," Revelation 3:19-21

This, then, in brief is a little picture of service the Church is trying to render its people in need of help, The Gospel is a program, a way of life, the plan of personal salvation and is based upon personal responsibility. It is developed for man, the offspring of God. Man is a God in embryo and has in him the seeds of Godhood and he can, if he will, rise to great heights. He can lift himself by his own bootstraps as no other creature can do. He was created not to fail and degenerate but to rise to perfection like his Lord Jesus Christ.

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It is our great hope that the humble efforts of our great army of leaders, of whom you are among the most vital, will help to save innumerable of those who have lost their way. And better still, that all working together may administer preventive spiritual medicine to make unnecessary the difficult painful cures and the failures and resultant deaths.

Again, I see your great opportunity to serve and I recognize the tremendous good you have already accomplished.

And this is our prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Master. Amen.