Young speaks of men saying they desire death if they apostatize from the Church.
Ann Eliza Young, Wife No.19, or, The story of a life in bondage : being a complete exposé of Mormonism, and revealing the sorrows, sacrifices and sufferings of women in polygamy (Hartford, CT: Dustin, Gilman, & Co. 1876), 198
This was the way that "the Lord" was "worshiped" in Utah in 1856 and 1857. I have heard men say, "If I apostatize, I hope some of my brethren will love me well enough to slay me." The Saints are by no means a bloodthirsty people, but these are some of the results of the teachings during the Reformation.